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So after that fantastically mediocre season, its time for a break. Thank God. I need to catch up on some sleep.

It’s interesting the perspective one gets from being a supporter of an English football club on the other side of the world.

The season becomes a pattern of 3am starts and Monday morning matches: a rhythm so strangely normal that you begin to forget that the players are not actually kitting up at one in the morning, creeping out of the house so as they don’t wake their sleeping families, and then proceeding to clash tired horns with an equally sleep-deprived opponent.

Premier League fans 'enjoy' televised 3am kick-offs in Australia

Premier League fans ‘enjoy’ televised 3am kick-offs in Australia

We don’t enjoy it, but we don’t dislike it either. Football is just some abstract form of midnight stasis; subjective normality.

There are many different ways of combating the torrid consequences of living in Australia, yet nothing matches the sheer comfort of an afternoon kick-off, a distant dream of many Southern Hemispherians.

The “record it and watch it in the morning” solution is surprisingly controversial. Cries of “you’re a bad supporter” and “deal with it you baby” fill the mind with footballing guilt. Some adamantly contend that this form of viewing is fickle, for logically, there is no way of single-handedly altering the outcome of the game. In the most tragic cases, one is left to record the game for viewing the following day, only to have its outcome ruined by some aggravating mate. The hate that is subsequently directed towards this poor friend is worrying, yet not entirely unwarranted. Sure, it wasn’t his fault, but he most definitely ruined your Sunday.

Temptations also become a problem, for football is like a drug, and to ignore your beautiful Smartphone and its gleaming promise of live EPL scores takes true courage and strength.

FOX Sports Barclays Premier League Live iPhone App

FOX Sports Barclays Premier League Live iPhone App

Whereas the “watch it live” technique certainly has its advantages, all seems to be forgotten the next morning, waking up to a footballing hangover. And despite its numerous risks, one is always left thinking, “I totally should have just recorded this.”

Some claim that we show a greater love for our clubs due to our unbound level of commitment. This, however, is just self-reassurance for our lack of sleep. We’d all trade our ludicrous kick-off times in a heart beat. We’re mad, but no more than an Englishmen, Malaysian, or American. We’re just victims of circumstance.

Ultimately, there is no perfect solution. We have the better beaches, people, and weather; it must just be some wicked form of footballing karma.

Post written by Josh Ben-Moshe
Twitter: @joshbenmoshe

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